but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
