i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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