And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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