do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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