I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know her cup size but not her name....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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