super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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