when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
do herpes really smell.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
