It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
