I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
