that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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