dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
