Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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