Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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