Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
