Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
