the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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