i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hippo gnu deer
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
