That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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