you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
