He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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