so that wasnt chicken after all
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
