theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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