he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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