check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
