I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
