I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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