tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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