By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
