I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize