When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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