Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
