I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
only you would photoshop your dick
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
