She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The power of my boobs compel you
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
