I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
