what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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