Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ttyl tear gas
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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