My hand turned me down
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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