I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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