whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
