I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
