VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
