my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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