Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
