I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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