I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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