It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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