made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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