My sheets look like a crime scene.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My ass is underappreciated
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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