My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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