when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
