How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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