GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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